for Rachel
I am waiting and
watching from the house, and
there is one. I can tell
by the way she frets
and walks, and sits and
twists. I go away.
Return.
The water’s spilled down
her back legs. I watch.
She twists, paws the ground, frets.
It’s been all day.
I bite my lip. “Here we go,” I say.
I go through the wooden gate, call,
“Here, Girl.”
She won’t come.
I hold out my hand, show her
the sheepnuts.
I have her by the neck. She’s breathing
hard. Her nostrils flare, in-out in-out.
How do I get her to the ground?
I twist her. Her legs give. She shows
the whites of her eyes. I sit
on her stomach. “It’s all right,” I say.
In the pines across the paddock, a starling
sounds an alarm. “Okay,” I say.
I look at the place between her back legs.
Her vagina is red and stretched.
There’re two soft cloven hooves
in the opening. I push up
my sleeves and lean across her side.
Between the hooves I can see
a black nose. I touch a hoof.
I have to see if I can get my
fingers around it.
I have my hand inside—
around a leg. It’s soft and
wet, and bone. I must pull it.
I am pulling. I am
breathing hard.
The ewe groans.
It could be me
I am pulling,
pulling with both arms. Pulling
on both legs. I am using
all my strength. My thighs
are warm against her flank.
I am pulling. I feel the strain
across my shoulders. I doubt
my strength to hold her
down and pull.
She is struggling.
I am pulling.
Her haunches give.
I am pulling.
The flank heaves.
I am pulling.
The ewe pushes. Something pops
– a soft pop – and releases. And
I think,
Have I broken it?
I am not pulling.
There are wet black eyes…
… a head
in place of the stretched black rim.
There are ears—black-tipped ears, a film
of slime—slimy wool. Did I say eyes
—black shining eyes? Two legs. Two hooves.
She grunts and shudders. The rest slithers out. It is still.
I’m beside
the lamb. It’s alive
but tired. Bone tired.
I think, Shouldn’t it get up? I
slap it. Once. Twice.
It lifts its head—just a little.
My hands encircle its slimy yellow
girth. I place it
beside its mother’s head and
she begins to lick.
I lie down on the grass on my back.
I am bone tired.
A starling calls out in the pines
across the paddock.